Thank You! (*smile*)

Having families and friends supporting my weight loss ever since I started in 2007 was awesome. Some kept record, some challenged who losses more, some spanked a little with brutal truth, and some praises on achievements. Every now and then, me and wifey would go out and celebrate our improved health, and simply enjoy the quality time together. Pretty harmless. But it gets selfishly self-centred.

I came about writing this after so many moons ago when people compliments on my reduced waistline, and after reading the article below, I felt like a schmuck! Sorry family and friends, but I was ungracious, and may have sounded self-centred when I mumbled a reply to your kind words. Truth is, I did not know how to return a compliment. As P.Ramlee would have said it, his teacher died before had the time to teach those required values.
Perhaps, all teachers should add this beside the Sex Education we talk about nowadays, as compliments, an honest one, is rare nowadays. Much are sweet words that tips off our lips to fill in the conversation, a passing remarks. The type of people we have become.

The discussion with each of them centered on the dynamic of why people have a problem accepting a compliment and how to handle the self-conscious feeling that is often attached to the attention a compliment brings.
Handling a compliment with grace and feeling good about it is easy if you remember to do three things.

Compliment: “Your run has greatly improved. What a good run. Guess you took the Blue Calves out for a stroll, eh."
Don’t make it about you.
Example of a response to avoid:
Let me tell you about it. I was up training 7-days/weeks, and LSDs like no other. I have done LSDs on all the major highways in KL. It was raining with lightning and thunder yesterday, but I did my mileage while eating karipaps. I always improvise my PB everytime (ewah!).

A compliment is conversation. A speaker tells a offers a listener information about his or her opinion in the form of praise. The content of a compliment — even when it’s personal in nature such as You’re a wonderful human being.— is simply a statement of a point of view. Keep yourself out of the response.

Don’t discount the speaker's gift.
Example of a response to avoid:
It wasn’t much. Biasa saja. It was just a geli-geli run. or, Mana ada, kau lari lagi laju heheh.

The speaker has offered a personal thought in your favor. To deny it or discount it is to say that the speaker has made a mistake in judgment. Value the speaker’s words in your response.


Acknowledge the speaker's words and stop there.
Example of a response that works:
Thank you for saying that it means a lot to hear it from you.

Focus on the speaker and the value of the speaker's words. That guarantees your response will be graceful, respectful, and not about you.

That sentence in Step 3 was my default answer for the first few tries. Now I no longer freeze when I hear a compliment coming toward me. So I listen, focus, and respond even more thoughtfully. I enjoy compliments now that I no longer make them about me.It’s not a hard habit to develop these three steps in accepting a compliment. Try them once and you’ll most likely be ready to put them to use every time. The exchange that occurs is so much more natural. It’s normal conversation without the “spotlight” glaring in our eyes.

It’s nice to let someone know that you heard and value their compliment. Sometimes it even allows you a chance to offer an authentic compliment in return.


So there, after 35 years, I hope you'd bear with me if I forget to smile and say Thank You. I am a slow starter, but I will get there. Until then, thank you for you kind words.

Comments

KOOKY KASH said…
Most welcome, Syah!

Even if someone tells you dengan muka selamba, "You have been running almost everyday, tapi timing tak improve2 pun. Asyik 6 jam jugak." Say thank you, smile and move on.
ziff71 said…
One of the things that we have taken for granted. Partly because culturally we are expected to "cakap berlapik" but problem is "salah lapik" will give a different meaning and intent. I will now say thank you for those who said "wahh, kau selalu lari, sure ler powerkan" but with the obvious smirk face and contempt tone.
amsyah said…
hahaaha point taken.... senyum je
Che said…
senyum jer.. heard that everytime after a run/race. dont bother, dont care. We know what we achieved. thats matter the most kan?
but dreams to step on podium one day is there.. kan?
..::EnAikAY::.. said…
Smile like an Avatar.. :)
Cikna said…
I always smile when friends and relatives(especially) commented on my dear hubby, "slimnye syahril skarang, ker ko tak kasi makan?". Senyum jerrrr..
amsyah said…
ziff - mostly I have to learn to bersyukur and be thankful. selalunya I gave out unnecessary comments. but I'm learning
amsyah said…
che - ye betul - sebenarnya kalau kita bagi compliments pun, we do not expect any negation in return, kan?
tapi I'll pass the podium, coz it's too far fetched. janji dpt stay healthy sampai tua cukup alhamdulillah :)

Nik - breathe like an Avatar too :D
amsyah said…
Hon - senyum jee... usually I'd tell them that you have been cooking healthier and better quality food for our family (read : healthier, not more expensive) :D
i think it's an asian thing, we just don't know how to accept compliments. actually we also don't know how to give compliments come to think of it. i remember feeling overwhelmed in london with how easy those mat salehs are with their compliments (and they looked sincere enough, so..), and i always mumbled something intelligible in reply (after some years of being called 'tenat' by certain studio masters jadi terkejut bila kena puji, hehe).i actually had a conversation about this with a mat saleh friend, and she said, 'well, you should just smile and thank the person complimenting you!'
amsyah said…
ayien - agree. we are (I am) not accustomed to giving compliments too. Looking back, I felt like giving compliments tu nak menyedapkan mulut je. masa kat sekolah asyik kene kutuk je, kan...

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