So What REALLY is the Story, Morning Glory?
I find it is a cliché when people says family comes first.
In this world today where Steve Job robs us all, apparently, work comes first. Above all and everything, work does comes first.
Work pays the bill, buys the toys for our kids, gadgets we wanted, fuels the car to
races family gatherings, etc etc.
Another cliché? How about 'when you love your job, you do not have to work a single day'. What a bull of crap!
All those quotes are void of realities - deadlines, costs, objectives.
At least in relation to my job it is.
It feels like ages since I lost my grooves. I had to steer work like treading carefully in sea of ice. In all honesty, some things had to be compromised, and I hate compromises.
Just yesterday, Kash said this is a marathon withdrawal syndrome? Is this how it feels - when pushing a simple run feels like shoving the dusts under the sheets? When running feels remorseful and pointless?
I know I am not even remotely an athlete, but these past weeks of work reminded me of my old self when exercise was basically walking from the sofa to the fridge. How is it fair for me to run and swim without any regards to my flip side of the coin.
Just like Malaysian food, we know they are mostly bad but I want it all. I want to spend hours in the pool until my fingers turns blue, or run until my shoes are soaked from my drenched sweat, and go to work and nail those bloody presentations. I want to be Superman!
Yesterday, I managed a hot date with Ghost again, after she slowly collected dust of neglect. With my ipod, it was much an uneventful run, soaking in the post-rain evening. I miss those quiet runs when I sort many problems in my head when running, like putting jigsaw puzzles into places and seeing the bigger picture, channeling all anger out and reasoning, etc etc.
At least I think I know how to squeeze the stress out. Negative addiction to a drug? Possible.