The Terminal

We balik kampung-ed for the Hari Raya AidilAdha, and I swear it felt like stranded in an airport. A real long case of Tom Hanks and bewilderment. I was stuck in clothes I have in the luggage, work, and moving around the house was really like a buffet table. I would walk around my mother's Jasmine garden, her orchard, sit around and watch the telly and always ended up in the kitchen. And the spread was endless. Iris benefited from all the shopping into my mom's make-up pouch, get her grandma to buy her all sort of girly things. Time stopped, but I  kept eating all my favourites. And now I am afraid to get on the scale.

Me in denial is me being complacent. And I hated that. 
I always hated it whenever I was not able to sweat it out, and I wonder if this is what a negative addiction is? Why can't it be a few-days-without-a-workout thing, like picking up shirts for ironing every Sunday?

I know why. Because I hate the feeling of being out of control, and consciously knowing I am letting the fat to settle again. All of a sudden, I need to be a control freak - why, doctor? Why?

November is passing, and I am on the verge of my 3rd year anniversary of my losing-the-fat battle. This week 3 years back, I had my appointment fixed to see Ian at Maxis Tower as we sat around the lounge and I filled up my questionnaires. Everything is blank to me now, I can hardly remember what they were - this Dory-brain of mine could not remember beyond 2-days memories. But I knew then I was about to embark on something to shed the title Mr. Shrek once and for all.

Approaching my 3rd health-freak Anniversary, I need to re-assess my objectives. Over the last years, reading back my blog entries - I felt like I have lost my objectives, and it sounded like an echo of certain waves from fellow bloggers. Many of the things I did in 2009 and 2010 were echoes - I do not understand why. I know some races were not customary but there I was - remorseful in the end. 
I am lost.

Would they be losing excess body fat, build mass, run faster, run further, do triathlons, do biathlons/duathlons, so international races, openwater swimming, swim Kapas-Marang, diving, etc, etc and etc. I want them all, and I am too greedy. 
(sel-sel otak tak berhubung)

On top of those, I have my professional exams coming in April and July, school enrollment etc (if possible) by year end, few travels, and spruce up family economics.

I need to sort myself out. The 2011 race calendar is taking shape, and it is already causing feeding frenzy. The only thing that is standing between me and the registration button for Sundown Ultra is the 80k LSD. 

I wonder when will my healthy appetite for races will translate into a healthy appetite to my professional life?


Comments

KOOKY KASH said…
We dont need to do all or most of the races that is available in the 2011 calendar. I am only doing 4. Which 4, we'll see.

Seems like a great week you had, though I think the makan fest is quite normal if you asked me. Call it cheat week, if you may.

Hope to see you next Friday. Sending the two boys, Arif and Richard to WA for their IM. We'll feast on my apple crumble for breakfast. I am cruel like that. Hehehe.
..::EnAikAY::.. said…
Hey bro, we can always do maintenance long run once a week to get the sweat out. We also need to get the joker runners back in action too. It's a bit 'plain' lah nowadays.
Khairul said…
Bro, u still have familiar faces at KLCC park, not to mention the gym to keep u healthy. Eh, kalau rasa nak lari kat Siam cakap la. I have some marathons planned up.
amsyah said…
Kash - I need more than 4 to keep the sugar off :P. I have been having a cheat month hahah. See you Friday. Itu apple crumble jangan bagi more than 200cal :D

Nik - what happened to the joker in you?

KA - we still have the coast-to-coast hutang, kan?
IJAM said…
ha...tu dah kemaruk nak buat LSD ngan marathon la tu...

KA : thailand jgn lupa ajak...(pegi belum tau lagi..he, he..)
Zack Yui said…
Register dulu bro, 80k fikir later... Joms!
June Malik said…
i am sure somehow, u will find time to fit in all and balance it all up nicely .. too bad u wont be taking my bib lah :) now i so the gatal want to lari lol
amsyah said…
Ijam - kemaruk sampai garu pintu dah ni... tapi malas nak pakai kasut

Zack - jangan ikut hati dan perasaan, aku tak berdaya buat 30k hari keje beb... mana nak kumpul mileage. Nanti aku pinjam je lah baju Ultra kau

KJ - it is all surging and all crying for attention. A runner's block?
Nak lari SCSM? your knees are good? Ke simpan for Ultra 100? :D

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