What's Pulling You Up This Morning?

It was the first LSD after so many weeks. I took the road with no target, but seeing how the mechanics would tell me, and it was a good sign, despite that I kept to my 60% HR all the time. I was the last one rolling out at 6.45 a.m., and the feeling of being there at the carpark, seeing a sea of cars parked was enough to lift my spirit. 

But getting myself up this morning was another story. I woke up around 5 to silence my alarm, and was tossing around between my bed, dining table and the sofa, trying to get up. Bercinta sungguh... I guess my body have forgotten to rise so early after many months of not heading to the roads and the gyms. 
What pulled myself was the menu we will have throughout the day - our normally heavy Sunday breakfast, and I promised my wife for a sumptuous curry mee at Cozy Corner for lunch. Later, I promised Iris a KFC treat (drumstick nonetheless) shall she keep her promised to run and cycle in the evening. I would feel super guilty by lunch.

Strangely enough, I think I was sucked into this vicious cycle - when most times I looked at over-indulging. Running, at best, was to create excuses to eat whatever, sometimes mindlessly. I have gone beyond super healthy eating. I tries to eat healthily mostly, but knowing I will get away from the extra bar of chocolate, or having more servings I am allowed for etc.
On any given day, LSD runs voids any guilt for unlimited cold Milo, heavy anything-goes lunch and dinner.

I have become a monster!

I suppose if I do not watch it, it will catch up with me. And the time I finally make an effort to stop, it will usually be too late. I now understand all sportsmen who turned to blobs after their glory days (ok, no need to define what my 'glory' is, lah ahhaha)

I think I am getting too paranoid with my weight issues.

I do not know how many of us do actually keep track of their weights ( I know Ian, being a PT, as a food advocate... you have to see him eat), and bitch about the extra piece of crabmeat than necessary. Supposedly, and sadly - I am. When you fight for something all your life, it is ingrained in you and it is super hard to let go. You do not want to repeat bad old days, when Shrek screams too much in your head.

I think I am derailed into obliviously thinking that running is a vehicle to eat whatever. It shouldn't, it never was. No wonder Iris is getting all the wrong example from me. I remembered she was not as problematic as she was last 2 years. 
In a nutshell, I have become complacent. Somebody smack me in the head now, thank you.

Therefore, there will be no more Milo from the stalls. With wife going back to work, and relatives/friends are almost done with visiting Aiden, I am slowly disposing crappy food from the kitchen. 
Keyword now is - serving size.

I will have a great and busy week next week. Hope you will do too.

Comments

KOOKY KASH said…
You don't look like you are having nutrition issues. Seriously.
amsyah said…
ntah la Kash - I thought I was OK but I think I have been too indulgent. I like eating my food, just that I need to shift into thinking that running and swimming will shift all the fat somewhere, but going back to the old fundamental

In short, I suppose I do not want to get them into Iris' head - only today she asked for KFC, and I told her yes, but only after the runs etc. She'll now think that she'll get her way through a 'bribe', and I don't think that's healthy :)

I also want to get up in the morning to run because I want to, not because of guilt. Alamak, I need a shrink! hahahaha
..::EnAikAY::.. said…
Welcome back to LSD-ing!
I am sometimes a bit concern with my weight too, but i allow some 2 - 3 kg (plus minus) on the scale, just to ease myself down.
ziff71 said…
Syah, I second Kash's view. Its not only u but many others as well using running/exercise as excuses to eat more.

U are doing great bro.!
crushhio said…
wahh.. lone LSD!

IMHO, it's a good balancing mechanism, if u over indulge, redeem it..

*keyword- OVER INDULGE. kalau indulge lite-lite pun nak kena redeem then one is indeed in a vicious cycle of redemption..

my 2 cents
Yimster said…
I rather think you're under syah, judging solely from the pictures of you and in real life. Maybe you're watching it a wee bit tight? I'm not ultra thin either and still wanting to lose a wee bit more but like Nik, I do give the allowance of +1 or +2. Should that happens, time to hit the roads more and watch what I stuff in me mouth. Who doesnt love food eh hehe
Julin Julai said…
i totally feel you. I guess as people who used to be overweight, we tend to make a big fuss over the kilos. I have this fear of going back where I used to be even though that was like a decade ago.
As a reminder to each and every one of us, what goes in equals to what we burn ( and then some).
p/s minah kat atas ni cakap apa
Diket said…
I ran 8km Sunday morning and had bryani kambing at Restoran Rasa Sayang Jln Yap Kwan Seng for lunch (gathering sekolah rendah). Tak caya tanya Crushio. Hehe. I eat to run & I run to eat. Just enjoy it bro.
amsyah said…
En Nik Fahusnaza, seingat aku dari kau Form 1 sampai sekarang, badan tak berubah langsung... tak penah nye kau nak gemuk daa... :)
Tapi what you said is helpful... thanks, buleh buat modal tu, kalau terlebih makan lomang haha

ziff - thanks bro. don't get me wrong, I do not forbid enjoy eating, tapi rasanya, salah erti kalau lari beria-ia so that balik rumah boleh makan beria-ia... hahaha

Syed - aiseymen, aku ingat lari lepas peak hour mesti tak kantoi, tapi kita hanya merancang... sorry tak ajak etc - sebab I did run very the slowly, and do not want to bore you guys :)

Over indulge is correct - let this be a reminder to all :)
amsyah said…
yim - we should ll enjoy our food, just filtering the bad ones, especially for my body type, lah. And undoubtedly, as of February, I was under for a good 6 big ones due to some muscle losses, but hopefully the food safari with the long family weekends have added them back.

Tak enjoy, lah kalau semua makanan takleh makan, kan... and penatlah everyday nak counting calories...

Having said that, I kalah kalau being served mum's cooking... semua hancur hahaha, lepas tu mula lah rasa bersalah, and lari lebih... (kan dah salah nawaitu tuh :D)
amsyah said…
Idella - Appreciate if you could be courteous in this blog, because it's not what you are looking for. Thanks

Doc - We? really? Never really can't tell, lah.
And betul tu... Calories out > calories in :)

p/s - minah atas tu promote all obscene,pornographic stuff, seram!

Diket - lari untuk makan, eh... aku memang jeles dengan spesis yang makan banyak tapi badan tak naiknaik nih :) ala ala gaya iklan Weight Gain je... hehehehe

Enjoy, mesti enjoy... peace!

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