What's Pulling You Up This Morning?

It was the first LSD after so many weeks. I took the road with no target, but seeing how the mechanics would tell me, and it was a good sign, despite that I kept to my 60% HR all the time. I was the last one rolling out at 6.45 a.m., and the feeling of being there at the carpark, seeing a sea of cars parked was enough to lift my spirit. 

But getting myself up this morning was another story. I woke up around 5 to silence my alarm, and was tossing around between my bed, dining table and the sofa, trying to get up. Bercinta sungguh... I guess my body have forgotten to rise so early after many months of not heading to the roads and the gyms. 

What pulled myself was the menu we will have throughout the day - our normally heavy Sunday breakfast, and I promised my wife for a sumptuous curry mee at Cozy Corner for lunch. Later, I promised Iris a KFC treat (drumstick nonetheless) shall she keep her promised to run and cycle in the evening. I would feel super guilty by lunch.

Strangely enough, I think I was sucked into this vicious cycle - when most times I looked at over-indulging. Running, at best, was to create excuses to eat whatever, sometimes mindlessly. I have gone beyond super healthy eating. I tries to eat healthily mostly, but knowing I will get away from the extra bar of chocolate, or having more servings I am allowed for etc.

On any given day, LSD runs voids any guilt for unlimited cold Milo, heavy anything-goes lunch and dinner.

I have become a monster!

I suppose if I do not watch it, it will catch up with me. And the time I finally make an effort to stop, it will usually be too late. I now understand all sportsmen who turned to blobs after their glory days (ok, no need to define what my 'glory' is, lah ahhaha)

I think I am getting too paranoid with my weight issues.

I do not know how many of us do actually keep track of their weights ( I know Ian, being a PT, as a food advocate... you have to see him eat), and bitch about the extra piece of crabmeat than necessary. Supposedly, and sadly - I am. When you fight for something all your life, it is ingrained in you and it is super hard to let go. You do not want to repeat bad old days, when Shrek screams too much in your head.

I think I am derailed into obliviously thinking that running is a vehicle to eat whatever. It shouldn't, it never was. No wonder Iris is getting all the wrong example from me. I remembered she was not as problematic as she was last 2 years. 

In a nutshell, I have become complacent. Somebody smack me in the head now, thank you.

Therefore, there will be no more Milo from the stalls. With wife going back to work, and relatives/friends are almost done with visiting Aiden, I am slowly disposing crappy food from the kitchen. 

Keyword now is - serving size.

I will have a great and busy week next week. Hope you will do too.